2007 CHAMPIONS: TEAM ORANGE
2007 Series MVPs: Team Orange - Jimmy H. / Team White - O.B.
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As at end of Game #: 5
Orange - 5 pts
White - 6 pts
 

Game 1 - Feb 21st, 2010
Team Orange WIN: 11-8  Attendance: 9091 (SRO)
Game 1 "Three Stars": 1)  Commish   2) Commish   3) Steve and Puckee

TEAM ORANGE OUTPLAYS TEAM WHITE IN TEXT BOOK WIN...

Game 1 proved to be a bit of disappointment - for Team White and their fans... No Blood, No Tears, No Chicklets on the ice. Team White, clearly in awe of both the Power and the skill of Team Orange got down early, and made it very difficult for themselves to pull back and make a game of it.

Team Orange defense shut down any hope that the Team White offense may have been planning to unleash on the opposition.

"It's pretty obvious that Team White was no match for us today... and by-the-way 11-8 doesn't tell the real story... Not only did we take a few logs off the fire to show some respect for Team White, we also put our skates on the wrong feet and only took backhand shots for  the entire 3rd Period", Commish told reporters after the game. He continued by adding, "I think Team Orange should have no problems repeating as Champs this year.... "expletive" Team White just don't have the heart... that's pretty Explitive-ing clear".

No Team White players were available for comment after the game. Reporters were told to not interrupt the Team White "meeting" they were having in the chamomile flavoured water hot-tub, which included drinking tea, eating crumpets, and "man-icures". We have also confirmed that no females were in this 'team meeting'...  Sad, so Sad!!

The only highlight for Team White was the play of veteran goal tender Puckee... He, and Team Orange Goalie Stevie B, gave fans lots to cheer about. In game where Team Orange blasted Puckee with 108 shots on goal, it's amazing he can still talk... but of course, he is French-Canadian after-all... so no worries there.

Next, game: Sunday at 8:08 am.

Game 2 - Feb 28th
Team Orange WIN:  7-6
Attendance: 9090
Game 2 "Three Stars": 1) Bradley 2) Tim    3) Adrian

TEAM ORANGE SHOWS COMPOSURE & TALENT IN HANDING TEAM WHITE LOSS...

While game two of the series was closer in score, it's still clear that Team Orange has Team White's number.

With All-Star players Commish (Team Orange) and Pistol Pete (Team White) out for "conduct unbecoming a Traveller Hockey Player" (no details, but rumours run rampant about a prison in Jamaica), the remaining riff-raff from each side had a lot of work to do.

In the end, Team Orange pulled out another victory. Strong power play work by Team Orange proved to be the difference. Team White's steady stream players to the penalty box, for infractions ranging from: mooning the Ice Park Organ Player (Thanks Brad, next time use a bidet to clean that thing) ; bar-b-queuing shrimp on Team White's Bench; and a strange rash of high sticking calls due to Team White trying bust open the piñata effigy of the Commish at Centre ice. WTF...

It was one of the strangest displays ever witnessed by Hockey fans, EVER...

Regardless, Team White's attempt to get Team Orange off their game by the pulling some truly un-explainable stunts, back-fired.

Team White was not able to refocus, what with "frost bitten butts", seafood allergies, and sore tummies from eating too much candy at center ice,  Team White just couldn't recover.

"Team White was trying to make a mockery of the game of Hockey today - and the Hockey God's brought them the pain", a clearly upset and angry Kinger told reporters. "Not only is Team Orange more determined than ever to repeat as Champs", but Kinger also went so far as to say that, " I really hope that Team White takes some time to reflect on their actions today... it was embarrassing, and I just want to apologize to all Hockey fans for this display today... When Commish get's back, Team White will be sorry... "

The only comment from a Team White player was from Tony, as he was heard saying " friggin Dennis just spilled all the Earl Grey in the hot-tub... he's such a b%$@h"...

Next game, Sunday, 8:11 am.

 

Game 3 - March 7th 
TIE GAME : 9 - 9
Attendance: 10,203
Game 3 "Three Stars": 1)  Robbie G   2)  Kevin N     3)  Marcus R.

TEAM ORANGE KEEPS IT CLOSE, SO AS TO NOT EMBARRASS TEAM WHITE

WOW... Finally, Team White showed a bit of life. Staving off elimination from the finals by managing a tie against the Defending Champs, Team Orange.

Team White Alternate Captain, Gary K, told reporters "... after spending a lot of alone time in my newly refurbished drive shed, along with my two wild and crazy Llamas, I decided that Team White needed a bit of a gut check"... Gary apparently arranged to have the team's infamous locker room hot-tub moved to Thorny-dale. Whatever it was must have worked. Team White was moving the puck with precision, and was able to neutralize much of Team Orange's potent offensive skill. While we did learn that there were still no females joining Team White in the Hot Tub these days, the Llamas received a lot of "attention" from Team White players. I suppose Llamas need love too.

Team Orange, who have been practicing everyday this past week at their secret team ice rink, somewhere in Elgin County, have yet to release any comment regarding their strategy for this week. This leads most Hockey fans to one conclusion - Team Orange will be bringing the heat this week, and it won't be pretty for Team White (even if Team White have matching orange toe-nail polish, this week).

Next Game: Sunday, 8:03 am.

Game 4 - March 21st
Team WHITE Win : 11 - 4
Attendance: 9091
Game 4 "Three Stars": 1)  Gord the Goalie    2) Brian M    3)  Howey...

TEAM ORANGE LOOKING FORWARD TO GAME FIVE

... After a week long 'lock-out', Game 4 of this Final series took place.
As if the league would stoop so low as to lock-out the teams during the play-offs. No real reason was given, and although Player Rep Commish appears to be on the players' side, some players in his union couldn't help but wonder why he is driving a shiny new Cadillac. Hmmmm...

As for the game, it was a huge let-down. Not only did Team Orange not win, but the back-up goal-tender that Team White brought up stood on his head, making save after save. Puckee, while missed by his Team White pals, was almost forgotten about after Team White skated to an easy 11-4 victory over a lack-luster Team Orange.

At the other end of the ice, Stevie played another phenomenal game, for all of 57 minutes... but those other three minutes he was in net were amazing... Unfortunately, Team White did manage to bury the puck seemingly at will, and proved be truly sore winners. While Team has had the opportunity to bury the opposition at various points in the season, Orange class prevailed, and true sportsmanship shone through. It is clear, more than ever, that Team Orange, while able to skate with best on a good day, still have a lot to learn about the true meaning of the game, and should hope that when Team Orange storms back in the final Game 5.


Oh, and Bradley... Keep yer head up... if you like it on your shoulders. Have a nice day.

Game 5 - Date: March 28th
Team WHITE : 10 - 6


TEAM ORANGE MAINTAINS SPIRIT OF THE GAME, LOOKS FORWARD TO 2011

Attendance: S.R.O.
Game 5 "Three Stars": 1) Puckee   2)  Kinger    3)  Stevie L.

In what was supposed to be a cake-wake for the Power House Team Orange, turned side-ways on Sunday, and became an unexpected and questionable Team White Win, giving Team White the 2010 title. Not since the 'Black Socks' of the early 1900's, has sports witnessed such a travesty (and though yet to be proven, we know it can't possibly be legit)...

As this reporter notes, some strange calls by the officials, a goalie wearing unusually large equipment, illegal curves on sticks, overly-sharpened skates, bouncy pucks, extraordinarily dirty play (even by Team White standards), were just too much for the professional, gentlemanly, clean-cut, sober, and "always respectful of the game", Team Orange.

It was clear that on this Palm Sunday, Team White had greased the Palms of the officials, arena owners, bookies, and just about anyone not on Team Orange.

"... Team White, what can you say, we're still in shock... I mean they went to lowest of low levels to make sure they won this championship. Sad really... While they've clearly had the weaker squad all season, at least they were moderately mindful of the game itself, showing it some respect throughout the season... Even if they were never really in our league... At least we can hold our heads high in this 'loss', if you want to call it that, knowing we played fair, and hard...", a surprisingly at ease Commish told reporters after the game.

Team White could not be reached for post game comment, as they were busy handing large buckets of cash to individuals who appeared to look very much like the referees and other league officials... hmmmm, coincidence I'm sure... Not too mention the truly horrific site of Llamas and goats being paraded into the Team White dressing room - normally not an issue, but the lingerie they were wearing was too much to take... and the Llamas and goats were wearing some too... oh my........

Tainted Championship? Perhaps... but rest assured, Team Orange will be back with a vengeance next season... Team White, enjoy the win, and we hope you sleep well at night. Team Orange will be back to make right all the wrongs Team White has brought upon the hockey world... Team White, you will rue the day you messed with the Hockey Gods. Oh, and Happy Easter...

Till 2011 !!!!